D7                                G7
Oh I was walking round my favourite store
D7                                G7
Searching for the ten pence off Lenor
     D7                          G7
When suddenly I bumped into this guy
   D7                         G7
On seeing who it was I gave a cry:
(nc)
“Fuckin’ ‘Ell, it’s Fred Titmus!”

A G (x4) D7 G7 (x2)

   D7                              G7
Oh Jane was pushing baby round the park
     D7                              G7
When all at once she saw her husband Mark
     D7                            G7
Well he was with a man down by the stream
   D7                          G7
So Jane and baby both began to scream:
(nc)
“Fuckin’ ‘Ell, it’s Fred Titmus!”

A G (x4) D7 G7 (x2)

   D7                                G7
Oh as the train pulled into platform three
  D7                                G7
I looked around for my best girl to see
       D7                               G7
As she disembarked but I didn’t seem to care
     D7                                   G7
‘Cos someone passed that made me stop and stare.

   D7
Oh Dracula comes from Transylvania

Stevie nicks books about kleptomania

Johnny looked out of his bedroom window
                                           A G (X4)
And shouted to his mum “Fred Titmus”.