G
I’ve just finished decorating, it was very irritating
      C                                   G           C                              G
And I know they’re going to come around tonight and I know they’re gonna say to me tonight:
D7                      G      D7                      G
“It makes the room look bigger; it makes the room look bigger”.


G
So let’s forget about the open-top bus ride; standing tall on the town hall balcony
C                       G            C                       G
It’s about as likely as hen’s teeth; it’s about as likely as hen’s teeth
D7                    G      D7                      G
And as the light gets dimmer, I watch the chance get slimmer.


        C                            G
But I’m putting up a hook to hang my hopes upon
          C                               G
There’s a fella coming round to stick the gas back on
       C                      G
And if truth be told now that Thelma’s gone
D                      G            (instr) G C (x3) D7 G
It makes the room look bigger.


G
I’m drawn towards the souvenir stores; I twirl around the key fob rack
          C                            G               C                              G
Well it’s alright for Nicholas and for Neil, yeah well how do you think that makes me feel?
D7                      G  D7             G
And all the while I can see I’m on the CCTV.


(no chord)
Elderly lady at the bus stop thinks I’m going to eat her and so to reassure her
  C               G
I ask her for the time
        C                     G               C                   G
And her sense of relief at my friendly tone reveals itself in her karmic moan:
         C                       G
“You can wait twenty minutes and nothing comes along
         C                     Eb
And then all of a sudden three thugs rob your pension
            D7                     G
Oh, there’s generally one a twenty-five past
        D7                      G
There’s generally one at twenty-five past
          D7                  G
They come swinging round that corner,
     Eb                  G         C G  C G
They think they’re Benny Goodman”.


        C                            G
But I’m putting up a hook to hang my hopes upon
          C                               G
There’s a fella coming round to stick the gas back on
       C                      G
And if truth be told now that Thelma’s gone
D                      G
It makes the room look bigger.
                 D                G                C                G G C G
Oh tiptoe to the front row of the Korn show with a sub-machine gun.