G  D7  G   G  D7  G

      G                                         D
I’m a vendor of quack nostrums born in a Kansas shack
       D7                               C               G
I came down to Greenwich Village with a tea chest on my back
                                               D
I danced a while for Andy and crashed his Cadillac
        D7                      G
And now I’m just waiting for my ban.


             G               D              C             G
Oh does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?
          D                                G
When your mother says “Don’t do it” do you crank it up in spite?
                          D            C              G                 
Do you rob your brother’s giro? Do you talk a load of shite?
          D               D7             G
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?


     G                                                  D
I’ve drank too much black coffee, read too much Bill Burroughs
     D7                                 C               G
I’ve been a “he”, I’ve been a “she”, a “maybe” and “who knows?”
                                        D
I’ve has the CBGBs, I’ve turkeyed way upstate
   D7                      G
So don’t you rock me, Daddio.


             G               D              C             G
Oh does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?
          D                                G
When your mother says “Don’t do it” do you crank it up in spite?
                          D            C              G
Do you rob your brother’s giro? Do you talk a load of shite?
          D               D7             G
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?


          G               D              C             G
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?
          D                                G
When your mother says “Don’t do it” do you crank it up in spite?
                          D            C              G
Do you rob your brother’s giro? Do you talk a load of shite?
          D               D7
Does your heroin lose its glamour 
          D               D7
Does your heroin lose its glamour
          D               D7             C   G     D D7 G
Does your heroin lose its glamour on the washboard overnight?